Missing Persons
May 22nd 2008 21:55
The aliens are at it again. They seem to have abducted everyone that admits voting for ‘Knights of Cydonia’ in this year’s Hottest 100.
If you ever meet anyone that voted for ‘Knights of Cydonia’ in this year’s Hottest 100, then please report them to the police immediately.
Other unsolved missing persons cases include:
The disappearance of anyone that admits voting for Augie March over ‘Black Fingernails, Red Wine’. No trace of them has been seen since 2006. Furthermore, the song they voted for seems to have been erased from the public’s consciousness.
The disappearance of all the Maynard-blowing wannabe prog-rock bands from Sydney pubs.
Money-saving tip: if you’ve ever wanted to own an Epiphone Les Paul or plastic multi-effects pedal then now would be the time to buy.
The disappearance of manufacturers and importers of regular-sized sunglasses.
Time-saving tip: avoid all contact with the Castle Hill Valley Girl oversized-sunglasses bleached-blonde loose-topped harsh-faced demon-spawn Clones! Get thee back to your nest!
The disappearance of Holly Valance. Apparently. I mustn’t have been paying attention.
Other community notices:
Class of ’94 Reunion!
If you voted for ‘Zombie’ instead of ‘Closer’ in the 1994 Hottest 100 then we’d love to see you again on June 15 in Hyde Park!
Just rsvp to
get_all_the_dickheads_in_one_ place_and_torch_them@hotmail. com
If you ever meet anyone that voted for ‘Knights of Cydonia’ in this year’s Hottest 100, then please report them to the police immediately.
Other unsolved missing persons cases include:
The disappearance of anyone that admits voting for Augie March over ‘Black Fingernails, Red Wine’. No trace of them has been seen since 2006. Furthermore, the song they voted for seems to have been erased from the public’s consciousness.
The disappearance of all the Maynard-blowing wannabe prog-rock bands from Sydney pubs.
Money-saving tip: if you’ve ever wanted to own an Epiphone Les Paul or plastic multi-effects pedal then now would be the time to buy.
The disappearance of manufacturers and importers of regular-sized sunglasses.
Time-saving tip: avoid all contact with the Castle Hill Valley Girl oversized-sunglasses bleached-blonde loose-topped harsh-faced demon-spawn Clones! Get thee back to your nest!
The disappearance of Holly Valance. Apparently. I mustn’t have been paying attention.
Other community notices:
Class of ’94 Reunion!
If you voted for ‘Zombie’ instead of ‘Closer’ in the 1994 Hottest 100 then we’d love to see you again on June 15 in Hyde Park!
get_all_the_dickheads_in_one_ place_and_torch_them@hotmail. com
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