Vastly Overrated
June 30th 2008 02:22
In the absence of anybody enlightening me to the contrary, I can only presume that these guys are the most overrated vocalists of the 20th century.
Bing Crosby
Just a deadly exponent of the Christmas Carol.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Frank Sinatra
Ol’ Brown Eye churned out the musical equivalent of water torture at the same time as Miles Davis was pushing out solid gold nuggets of jazz.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Michael Jackson
His great legacies are the moonwalk, the ‘War and Peace’ length choreographed video clip, and girlie squealing.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Cher
She* had** hits*** in every**** decade of the twentieth century.
*her corporate pop machine
**occasionally had
***one off commercial successes
****about once every ten years
Verdict: OVERRATED
Little Richard
A creepy little man who plays every song with the same tune and then sits up like a little doggie waiting for a biscuit of approval.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Rod Stewart
Not really sure why this guy is famous. Like Ronnie Wood, Rod is an inspiration to public servants everywhere.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Cliff Richard
A was-nothing is-nothing do-nothing waste of oxygen. Should be put to sleep, and not in the way he puts me to sleep.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Elton John
Statistics show that 95% of everything he has done is unmemorable rambling. Take away Candle in the Wind and Don’t Let My Son Go Down on Me and it looks a bit light.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Elvis Presley
The Robbie Williams of 1960. An on-stage charmer with very limited artistic ability.
Verdict: VASTLY OVERRATED
Madonna
Has as many memorable songs from her entire career as Alanis Morisette had in just one album. Worthy of merciless ridicule as much as any other mime artist.
Verdict: VASTLY OVERRATED
The time to correct me has unfortunately expired.
Bing Crosby
Just a deadly exponent of the Christmas Carol.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Frank Sinatra
Verdict: OVERRATED
Michael Jackson
His great legacies are the moonwalk, the ‘War and Peace’ length choreographed video clip, and girlie squealing.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Cher
She* had** hits*** in every**** decade of the twentieth century.
*her corporate pop machine
**occasionally had
***one off commercial successes
****about once every ten years
Little Richard
A creepy little man who plays every song with the same tune and then sits up like a little doggie waiting for a biscuit of approval.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Rod Stewart
Not really sure why this guy is famous. Like Ronnie Wood, Rod is an inspiration to public servants everywhere.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Cliff Richard
A was-nothing is-nothing do-nothing waste of oxygen. Should be put to sleep, and not in the way he puts me to sleep.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Elton John
Statistics show that 95% of everything he has done is unmemorable rambling. Take away Candle in the Wind and Don’t Let My Son Go Down on Me and it looks a bit light.
Verdict: OVERRATED
Elvis Presley
The Robbie Williams of 1960. An on-stage charmer with very limited artistic ability.
Verdict: VASTLY OVERRATED
Madonna
Has as many memorable songs from her entire career as Alanis Morisette had in just one album. Worthy of merciless ridicule as much as any other mime artist.
Verdict: VASTLY OVERRATED
The time to correct me has unfortunately expired.
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