Emergency Biker Clubhouse Setlist
June 11th 2008 01:39
(with thanks to Rob, whose collection of misfortunes are now funny)
So you’ve been booked to play at a local bar. You arrive through the back door, set up in a dark corner, and launch into a rousing rendition of Avril Lavigne’s ‘Sk8r Boi’. The band is sounding great: that late-afternoon warm-up has definitely paid off.
The crowd begins roaring at you. “Wow”, you think. “They’re really digging us!” Then, out of the blue, you get stung on the head by a Jack Daniels stubbie. Then another. And another. You stumble off the stage, and all of a sudden you realise that you’re performing inside a one per center clubhouse.
“Quick guys! Let’s get outta here before they break our legs!” Uh-uh. You’re not going anywhere until you play for your new masters. “Think! Think! What can we play to avoid having our kneecaps removed?!”
1. Born to Be Wild
An important start. This one reaffirms for the biker that their poor decisions in life are not decisions at all, but the undeniable proof of manifest wildness.
2. Sweet Home Alabama
This one reasserts the biker's divine right to reject the oppressive laws of The Union during this time of American civil war.
3. Bad to the Bone
A biker family anthem. Will I break your uncle's legs? Why yes, because I'm bad to the bone.
4. Khe Sanh
An evergreen biker favourite, which is translated by the biker as: "My Uncle got dissed when he came back from Nam, so I'm going to break your legs"
5. Paradise City
"Oh, yeah, pussy! I'm not a big gay man in tight leather pants. Girls, and pussy, and stuff... woo!"
6. Copperhead Road
"Yeah, that Steve Earl, he's my kind of guy. All fat, and drug addled, with never ending relationship dramas ..."
7. Highway to Hell
Yeah, I get it. Stone, motorbikes, Satan. Yawn.
8. Unexpected request by man with knife who should probably be listened to
9. Smoke on the Water
"Hey, y'all, I can play this one on my here geetaw"
10. Alive
If you got this far then you may well be. Now make for the exit, nice and smooth…
So you’ve been booked to play at a local bar. You arrive through the back door, set up in a dark corner, and launch into a rousing rendition of Avril Lavigne’s ‘Sk8r Boi’. The band is sounding great: that late-afternoon warm-up has definitely paid off.
The crowd begins roaring at you. “Wow”, you think. “They’re really digging us!” Then, out of the blue, you get stung on the head by a Jack Daniels stubbie. Then another. And another. You stumble off the stage, and all of a sudden you realise that you’re performing inside a one per center clubhouse.
“Quick guys! Let’s get outta here before they break our legs!” Uh-uh. You’re not going anywhere until you play for your new masters. “Think! Think! What can we play to avoid having our kneecaps removed?!”
1. Born to Be Wild
An important start. This one reaffirms for the biker that their poor decisions in life are not decisions at all, but the undeniable proof of manifest wildness.
2. Sweet Home Alabama
This one reasserts the biker's divine right to reject the oppressive laws of The Union during this time of American civil war.
3. Bad to the Bone
A biker family anthem. Will I break your uncle's legs? Why yes, because I'm bad to the bone.
4. Khe Sanh
An evergreen biker favourite, which is translated by the biker as: "My Uncle got dissed when he came back from Nam, so I'm going to break your legs"
5. Paradise City
"Oh, yeah, pussy! I'm not a big gay man in tight leather pants. Girls, and pussy, and stuff... woo!"
6. Copperhead Road
"Yeah, that Steve Earl, he's my kind of guy. All fat, and drug addled, with never ending relationship dramas ..."
7. Highway to Hell
Yeah, I get it. Stone, motorbikes, Satan. Yawn.
8. Unexpected request by man with knife who should probably be listened to
9. Smoke on the Water
"Hey, y'all, I can play this one on my here geetaw"
10. Alive
If you got this far then you may well be. Now make for the exit, nice and smooth…
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