Dear Editor, I forgot my meds…
May 26th 2008 00:58
One of life’s small pleasures is reading the delusional letters-to-the-editor in my local music rag, Drum Media.
Unfortunately, this week I was denied that pleasure; there was nothing but wall-to-wall sensible letters! What an outrage!
So listen up, all you lazy, delusional bastards out there. I’m gonna make it real easy for you.
Introducing:
The Delusional Letter to the Music Editor Template!
“Dear Drum
What ever happened to [insert one of:
…the state of rock…
…the live music scene…
…opportunities for local artists…]
in this country?
It seems like all we get now are [insert one of:
…Britney Spears clones…
…corporate American bands …
…mass-produced TV pop stars…]
, and enough is enough.
It’s high time we [insert one of:
…got behind our local talent…
…support our local music scene…
…gave equal airtime to real bands and artists…]
, and turn around our industry.
After all, [insert one of:
…who will save rock in Australia if not the local fans?
…if you don’t use it then you lose it!
…you can’t get laid to the sound of a poker machine!]
Regards
[delusional, paper wasting bastard]”
There, that wasn’t so hard was it?
Next week…
Are message boards draining delusional talent from the editorial letter industry?
A Waterfront Yuppie exclusive…
Britney tries hard to see things from the perspective of her fierce critics in the Editorial Letter pages
Unfortunately, this week I was denied that pleasure; there was nothing but wall-to-wall sensible letters! What an outrage!
So listen up, all you lazy, delusional bastards out there. I’m gonna make it real easy for you.
Introducing:
The Delusional Letter to the Music Editor Template!
“Dear Drum
What ever happened to [insert one of:
…the state of rock…
…the live music scene…
…opportunities for local artists…]
in this country?
It seems like all we get now are [insert one of:
…Britney Spears clones…
…corporate American bands …
…mass-produced TV pop stars…]
, and enough is enough.
It’s high time we [insert one of:
…got behind our local talent…
…support our local music scene…
…gave equal airtime to real bands and artists…]
, and turn around our industry.
After all, [insert one of:
…who will save rock in Australia if not the local fans?
…if you don’t use it then you lose it!
…you can’t get laid to the sound of a poker machine!]
Regards
[delusional, paper wasting bastard]”
There, that wasn’t so hard was it?
Next week…
Are message boards draining delusional talent from the editorial letter industry?
A Waterfront Yuppie exclusive…
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Comment by Murray Oke